
Hi I’m Genovieve Relationship Therapeutic Coach, recently I thought about this topic of what’s the meaning in our Body Language in bed? If you’ve ever wondered about the validity of body language? Here is something to ponder over when you read this and then next go to bed!
Though we may be aware of body language, and be able to fake different positions to
fool onlookers, this is not possible when we are asleep.
At night, our body naturally and involuntarily
adopts the position that feels the most natural.
This has resulted in a study, showing that the way you
sleep with your partner at night, might be a true reflection of the actual emotions being felt and the
true dynamics of the relationship.
1. Loving Spoon:
This signifies happily “married, loving and still wanting physical contact and closeness.
This self evident position, is where one partner basically lies on their side, with the other, closely
behind them, folding into their back. Usually the arm of the partner at the back is draped over the
stomach area of the first . This way, you can pull each other closer together, feeling very intimate.
A
really good sign of a close emotional relationship and friendship not burdened by any sexual
frustration, is shown by the body language in this case.
2. Honeymoon: This is the time when you just can’t get enough of each other. You are acting like new
lovers, with the “I can’t believe you want me” mind set.
Here you want to just about crawl into each
other and have as much open physical contact as possible. In this position, you would lie hugging each
other face to face. Generally this might be with one partner more on their back and not just a side by
side position. This, the most romantic position sends the signals that there is total commitment and
reassurance, whilst touching as much as possible.
3. Bottom to bottom:
This is a good compromise from the sometimes overbearing first two positions.
Each partner lies basically on their side of the bed, facing to their side, but their buttocks still touching.
This is the most comfortable sleeping position that still involves physical contact. There is reassurance
that the physical aspect of the relationship is still alive, but does not take top priority in the overall
picture.
Because it is actually more comfortable to sleep on your own, the startling part here is that
you’re still trying to maintain some form of contact even in a semi or unconscious state.
4. Distant and apart.
Here the sleeping partners, lies on their own side of the bed, as far apart as
possible, turned away from each other.
Trouble brews here. This relationship has died, or at the very
least has gone through a very trying time. Because body language doesn’t lie, the partners sleeping
behavior signifies, that in fact they would rather be on their own. If you find yourself sleeping like this
permanently, this usually signifies emotional distance during waking hours as well.
Looking at the four scenarios above, you can quickly tell at what stage your relationship is. Of course,
we are talking about a normal healthy physical pre-condition. Either partner being unwell, would not
count. Also, none of this is etched in stone. Most couples will in fact go through a range of these
positions during the course of a night.
The predominance, or total avoidance of one or other position, will however give great clues to the
overall state of the relationship. If you detect a certain pattern here, you can effectively use this to
determine the state of your relationship and take appropriate action.
In this way body language analysis
is indeed effective. Remember keep on loving
in when it comes to bed time! And if you feel you the
need to read some more ‘Tips on Relationships’ go to http://thechoicetochange.com/blog/. You’ll find
extra advice or solutions to your Building A Loving Relationship. I’m Genovieve Relationship Therapeutic Coach in High Wycombe.