Recently I thought it useful when attending my Local Breakfast Network Group ‘CBC’ Chiltern Business Connections in High Wycombe, to begin considering discussing how a Facilitator like myself acting as a ‘Relationship Solution Therapist’, could assist or improve relationships in the work place.
Grief is a natural human given and issues of Depression, Grief, Anger, Loss or Loneliness can make an individual unable to mourn effectively. Although your work colleagues or employers cannot take a role of Counsellor or Therapist, it can be said that your colleagues and managers can respond more effectively if they have some ideas of how to assist YOU in these emotional times.
Here I offer some helpful Tips and Strategies to those of you out there in the Work Place:
As a Employer you could offer information on bereavement, benefit entitlements and medical claim forms or Insurance policies.
Acknowledge that some employees could return to work too soon, and should be at home where they can continue to grieve.
Be mindful, and vigilant to do what you can to ensure that a grieving person is looking after themselves by eating well, drinking enough water and getting sufficient sleep.
Ensure that someone in the workplace is available to talk to them about their loss or refer them to a Counsellor who deals with Bereavement and Loss.
Be flexible about time off, especially during the first year of bereavement, keeping in mind that some employees may need more time off than others and that pressure to perform, places even further stress or even promotes illness in the individual. If you are able, reduce their workload for an agreed time.
Let the bereaved work colleague know that you are concerned and ask what you can do to help. Also frequently ask how they are doing.
Helping to prioritise work so that the bereaved person can concentrate on one task at a time is very helpful.
Ensure the bereaved person has someone within their department to talk to about their loss if they wish to, or refer them to EAP services or a Specialist Counsellor who helps with Bereavement and Loss.
Understand that, to a certain extent, getting back into a work routine can be a comforting and reassuring experience.
Help your colleague to get into the routine, but avoid asking them to try something new or to take on more responsibility when they are still struggling with grief.
Understand that most grieving individuals want their manager to acknowledge their loss, treat them as normally as possible and be flexible.
Help a bereaved work colleague to respond effectively by:
Giving close colleagues the opportunity to attend the funeral or service. Suggest helping or supporting with simple errands or simplify their work load or perhaps offer them a ride to work. This leaves the person autonomous to decision making and encourages the ‘Rebuilding of a New Purpose in Life’.
Help co-workers understand that it is not unusual for someone to experience significant grief for a period of years.
It helps to avoid conversations such as:
Give yourself time you’ll get over it soon.
You’re never given more than you can handle
It’s for the best
You need to stay busy
Time heals all things
You’ll find another ‘Love’ again.
Go on a long holiday it will make you forget about it all.
Instead say something simple such as “‘I’m sorry for your loss”. It’s a SIMPLE AS THAT!
So if your desire is to support a fellow human in grief, you must create a “safe place” for people to embrace their feelings of profound loss. This safe place is from a humble, compassionate and unconditional heart. It is your open heart that allows you to be truly present to another human being’s intimate pain. I intend to contribute more helpful insights to the community, raise awarenesses to promote helping each other out in times of need, whether in a Intimate Relationship, Socially or in the Work Place. If you really find it uncomfortable and need immediate support, simply refer to the BACP Counselling Register http://www.bacp.co.uk/seeking_therapist/right_therapist.php or contact me direct Genovieve Feasey Pychotherapist Specialist In Dealing with Conflict, Crisis or Trauma
